i fell out of love with writing: what I wish I knew about monetizing my hobbies.
happy 2021, homegirls and homeboys!
please excuse my absence as it’s been about [redacted] months since my last post was shared, but I hope that this new entry will give you some insights into why???
among the plethora of things that the previous year (which shall remain nameless), caused me to grieve — job loss, community, distance from family, normality — never in a million years would I have ever thought that my love for writing would be added to this list.
you see, during 202*, writing became my main source of income and sense of structure when it came to my career path. I figured that since I was in between jobs, then the least I could do was start my own thing and use the gifts I have to create a new stream of income. I took on social media copywriting projects and was able to consistently write for an online publication as well. while I was grateful for these door opening for me, it didn’t take long before I started to feel my body react to the absence of joy that would come from my storytelling process. instead, the feeling of dread and even depression started to fill in these spaces because there was a newfound pressure to create in order to survive and that’s when everything started to shift for me.
deadlines became more daunting. setting and committing to my rates was a nightmare. even taking on new projects started to feel like the most taxing process of them all because I just didn’t know if I could give each client the same love, depth, and attention that I knew their project deserved; especially since I couldn’t even find that love for myself.
around the end of Fall 2*20, I couldn’t even look at my blog anymore. i mean, what was I even going to talk about that I wouldn’t then try to pitch to an outlet? what could I even say that would connect to my community if all I was going to do was edit myself down before the post ever say the light of day? I don’t know if it was a mix of self-sabotage or just coming to the grips with losing the love of my life, but ya girl was definitely hurting.
all of my light-hearted, yet insightful topics just felt clogged in my brain because I was looking at each story from the lens of someone who needed to make ends meet rather than coming from a place of care-free creativity.
so I just stopped.
I stopped sharing blog posts because my hobby became my job.
and sure, you’re probably thinking, “well isn’t that what you want, Aley?” and… well, yes… but not this way. not while experiencing a panoramic, not while my mental health was taking a hit, just not this way.
and that’s why I haven’t been here. that’s why I’ve been away. that’s why this handcrafted, masterpiece of a digital platform has been lying dormant for almost an entire quarter of a year.
I’m not proud of that, but it’s my truth. I mean, I couldn’t even stand the sight of my Google docs let alone my Squarespace dashboard.
but that’s why I needed to get this off my chest: I just don’t think there’s enough conversation about the fact that not everyone is cut out to be a full-time entrepreneur *AND* that this freelance life is hard, yo. especially when life kind of “forced” you into it without time to plan or prepare for the shift. I’ve done the whole “turn your hobbies into a side hustle” thing and it left me with a distorted version of the passion I used to know.
but I want it back: I want to write and create on my terms and on my time. not because I’m trying to “be on my grind,” but simply because I love it with all my heart.
so maybe you’re a creative who’s had a hobby that they’ve had to turn into a source of income until the next door opened: you are not alone. after you get over this hump, remember that it’s okay to be gifted at something without having to monetize it. that you can still be impactful even if you never make a dollar out of it. (no matter how this capitalistic society tries to convince you otherwise). hone your transferable skills and apply them to something that can provide you with a steady income while keeping your hobbies to yourself. because some things should remain sacred, pure, and filled with delight.
I’m still trying to figure out what that looks like for me, but in an ironic twist, I’m glad that I’ve finally been able to put this feeling into words.
before you go: let me know your thoughts on the topic of monetizing your hobbies. should some things remain sacred? or should you get the coins if you’re good at what you do? have you experienced this season of life before? let’s connect in the comments, I’d love to hear!
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