are IRL frienships outdated? [also, i have a newsletter now!]
i recently stumbled upon this tweet the other day and it got my wheels turning…
it stated the following:
now, like most sentiments shared on the internet, this one echoed inward thoughts that I’ve had trouble putting words to on my own — until now.
you see, over the last 2 years, much like the greater population, I’ve had to navigate fluctuating connections between friendships that were growing at the cusp of the global pandemic. this event has since produced an aftershock that prematurely stubbed potential bonds from growing deeper.
when I moved to LA in 2019, I imagined myself setting up shop, while making a home, and a name for myself. in the best case scenarios, I would eventually cultivate a tribe of my own, made up of chosen family, creative comrades, and potential bridesmaids.
“just give it two years,” was the resounding advice strangers and veterans, transplants and locals alike would share, as I searched for insight that would aid and soothe the wounds of my loneliness. eventually, through work, (which happened to be an all Black/POC workspace - more on that another day…) and a church group that I joined; I connected with other dope, young, Black people who I could see being in my life for years to come.
until, of course, March 2020, when everything shifted.
i won’t bore you by rehashing that year; I mean, you were there too lol but for about 9 months straight, most of my new friends started going on good-bye tours, and it felt like there wasn’t a month or two that went by that I didn’t get invited to a socially distanced farewell gathering or have the news broke to me over a facetime. the separation was jarring and sort of sparked this awkward wedge of emotions that made me want to keep the connection going while battling the question of when and if I’d ever see those people again.
as the world re-opened, I’ve been able to take trips that have reconnected me with these long-distance besties, but the strain to keep in contact has been hard to ignore.
what were once conversations over brunch or weekly encounters, became long spans of time where either party would contact the other.
things have smoothed over a bit in the last 6 months or so, as we all have gotten acclimated to our “new normals” but it took one of my darkest seasons of isolation to come to realize that I needed a lot more out of the friendships than the occasional, “hey girl, just checking in” texts.
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